Ep 63 Transcript: Connection Over Clicks: How Real Relationships Drive Growth with Tamika Carlton

This transcript was auto-generated and may contain errors in spelling or inaccuracies in the spoken words.

Hello and welcome to the Real Women Real Business podcast. I am your host, Shauna Lynn Simon. And today I am being joined by Tamika Carlton. She is a powerhouse entrepreneur. She's a relationship expert and she's actually the host of the Real Connect podcast. And she is on a mission to transform the way that people are building meaningful connections, both personally and professionally.

And as the CEO and founder of Couples Experience, she's changing lives through inclusive and luxurious retreats and a thriving community that's dedicated to strengthening connections. She's been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Show, on the Hello7 podcast, the Success Journey podcast, Authority magazine. I mean, this woman knows her stuff. So I'm going to stop talking about her and say welcome to Tamika. Thank you so much. I'm happy to be here.

I'm so excited to have you on here. You know, I talk about relationships often and anytime I speak with, especially any of my clients when they're struggling a little bit in terms of getting new clients, I'm often saying, well, what are you doing? Well, I'm posting on social media. Well, what else are you doing? Well, I'm doing, you know, they're doing all these things. Like, well, have you done any direct outreach? What does that mean? Right. Yeah. No joke.

Tell me a little bit about how relationships have played a role maybe in your entrepreneurial journey. Because obviously, this isn't coming from nowhere. Yeah, yeah, I think you're right. I think we've become so immune to being all about connecting online and just not necessarily connecting one-on-one. And I'm a strong advocate and believer in really investing the time and energy it takes to build fruitful relationships. And I'm saying that.

in that meaning or when I say that, I mean that, you know, taking the time to connect with people one-on-one, whether it's through a DM, I mean, listen, we're all over the globe, right? But it means something when you really invest and say, hey, like, this is what I love. Just the other day, someone reached out to me and was like, you know, I've scrolled, some of you get random messages, don't get me wrong. So you're like, oh no, not this DM. But someone was like, I really.

looked or watched one of your reels and this is what resonated with me. And I think there's something about being very specific and investing the time into kind of being a little bit deep diving into the person that you're interested in or whatever it may be because we're losing, we've lost that a lot. And I think we appreciated more as individuals to get to feel more important, like we wanna feel more important, so why not?

have someone else feel more important by what we say to them. Well, what I really like about what you're saying here is you're talking about how we can actually combine the digital world with this relationship aspect of it. So it doesn't have to be a one or the other. It doesn't mean you have to be driving around all day meeting people for coffee, you know, and drinking 16 cups of coffee in a day. There's ways of doing it. And, you know, actually, as you were talking, you know, it of got me thinking one of the things that ⁓ this was actually one of my colleagues, Claire Jefford, I had her on the show last year.

She was the one who had mentioned that she does this with her new followers. I'm like, that's a great idea. And she sends every new follower a voice memo, like just a voice message and a DM. So I started doing the same thing. So I'll go into, if I got a new follower, I'm going to go into their profile, see what they're all about, maybe watch a reel or two. And then I shoot them a really quick voice message just saying, hey, thanks so much for being here. I followed you back. Looking forward to seeing all that you're doing, whatever it might be. And I always call them by name.

So if I can't figure out what their actual name is, I call them by their handle so they know this wasn't a pre-scripted. This isn't automated, correct? Yeah, exactly. This isn't something I just recorded and blasted out to everyone. Like, this is me actually talking to you. I have made some of the most amazing connections that way. I think that means so much because obviously you took the time. You're being more personable.

You are we're in this new automated world where like people are getting bombarded with automations all the time, all types of automated communication. I mean, I came up with kind of you have to be a little bit more creative these days. So recently or a while back, I came up with something called the friend in my head series. So I would do individual videos and it would be targeting a person, whether it be a celebrity, a local celebrity, a person I was following. And I would just get like

go through a 90 second video that was edited and it would just be like, I love this person because they're my friend in my head because, and it resonated so much with these individuals in addition to other people because they felt the same way about these people. And imagine what the individual felt like when they saw that. love that. It was just, and I just came up with the concept because one person that really inspired me to kind of be more of a camera person and all of that and go to school for broadcast journalism was this

a black woman that was in Seattle and she was a news anchor. And it just popped up in my head recently or randomly and it was like, I love Joyce Taylor and this is why. And I was just like, let me just do a quick video. And I posted it and she was like, you have no idea what that meant to me, right? And I'm like, I just felt like it was a good way to give people their flowers when they're here and.

Yeah. random appreciation and there's value in that. And I think that we can all be creative in doing something similar, especially in this virtual age when we do have access, more access to people than we ever had before. Right. Right. So it's like use that to your advantage, but do it in a way that feels very personal. Well, and so what

you're talking about here that I think is so important and I hope that everyone who's listening is really getting this message is it needs to be genuine. Like if you're listening to this idea that Tamika has about, you the friend in her head and thinking like, ⁓ I could get this celebrity and then they're going to like my video and I'm going to go viral and all this is going to happen. Listen, like that might be a side effect of it. Sure. But that can't be the reason that you're doing it. You know, like

Yes, all of these things are a bit of a marketing strategy. Of course they are. And don't get me wrong, when I'm sending someone a DM, I am looking to build a genuine connection. That genuine connection may lead to a sale or a partnership or something that's going to be fruitful for me in the end. But I'm not looking at everything as what can you do for me? How can I sell you on something like there's you have to approach it as a genuine connection.

for whatever that turns into. And it may be nothing more than just a conversation with a lovely person. Correct. I think we go into a lot of relationships and engagements with this idea of what you just mentioned. What can I gain from you? Or what can you do for me? And we really do have to just say that be intentional, but also recognize that maybe it really is just a conversation. And what can I provide you? With the profound in my head series, I'm just providing you with like a random

bout of appreciation, which everyone could use at any given time. I'm just saying, like, you come on a timeline and you see someone saying something nice about you that you don't know, I mean, how amazing can that be? So it's like, just the simplest of things go a long way right now. And I think that, everything to a certain degree is a marketing strategy.

But it's like, how can you remember that there are people on the other end of the marketing strategy, on the other side of the appeal or the targeting? It's like, just remember what the other person needs, values and wants. And that will kind of help gear you into recognizing that it needs to be more of a reciprocal relationship, just as your friendships are, just as your colleagues are, just as...

who your partner is and on and on it goes, it's like we treat certain people better and strangers not so great, but it's like we need to think about, we need to think about how can we treat even strangers as almost like prospects of being friends or prospects of being great people in your life, period. And if you go into it with that intention, it's more likely for you to gain without even wanting.

to gain if you will. It's so true. Yeah, I know a lot of people, especially because I come from the real estate industry, and this is no disrespect to anyone in the real estate industry, but it is very transactional at times. at the same time, it was built on relationships once upon a time. so I've always kind of looked at things as like, how can I introduce someone to someone of value? So I've always been a bit of a connector. And if I meet someone, I find out that

you know, they've got a cleaning business or something, for example. And I happen to know a bunch of home stages and real estate agents who could use a cleaner. I'm going to do those introductions, you know, there's there's value to that. Do I expect to get anything in return? No. I've heard people say, what sort of referral fee should I ask for to recommend someone like just goodwill? Just like just send them out there. And, you know, I'm just such a firm believer that those things come back to us. But like studies have proven that giving.

actually increases your happiness level. That's something that you talk a little bit. So you actually you've you mentioned this was sort of an off-air conversation that you were saying that there's only 14 percent of people report being truly happy. Is that actually true?

Yeah, there's a report that 14 % of Americans report being truly happy. And I mean, I'm not surprised, hello. But it's a surprising stat to think about because if you really consider it, it's like, my gosh, like one in 14 people or 14 people out of 100 people are only happy. That's the only people that are happy. I remember going to a Beyonce concert and looking around and I was like, my gosh, the majority of these people are unhappy.

was just looking around like, oh my gosh, there's thousands and thousands and thousands of unhappy people in here. And also it was a realization that we are in a space where we're trying to gain happiness by going to see a Beyonce concert and be enlightened or entertained or whatever it may be. But I think that the reason that majority of people are

unhappy is because we are missing out on the true deep, meaningful, vulnerable, bonded connections that we desire we need. And in my mind is really a human requirement. And I think that if we recognize that that's valuable, that's going to be much easier for us to be more willing to invest the time and energy it requires to gain those types of connections. listen, there's research that states that

quality relationships increase your happiness, well-being, and overall wellness, right? And I'm not surprised. I mean, when you have good people around you, you feel less stressed. When you have someone to vent to or that's not going to judge you, you feel accepted. When you have the ability to be your true self and be vulnerable, you feel more transparent and lighter. So it's like we all need that, but it doesn't come automatically.

No, and even just what you're talking about in terms of, being authentic, being vulnerable, being our true selves. I think that part probably what we struggle the most with in a day and age where there's so much that's public and we're putting on these personas, these public personas. Every average person has like these dual personalities, basically the one that you see online and the one they are behind the scenes. And we're so afraid to let people see the messiness, you know, the imperfections. But.

That's where we connect to people in those in those messy places. What's what's the best way for someone, especially someone who's building their business? I know what it's like as an entrepreneur. You know, when someone asks how how is business, the last thing you say is, listen, we had a crappy month last month. I don't know what I'm going to do. Like you're not saying that you're like, everything's great. It's fantastic. Yeah, I know right. So how do you build that authentically both personally and professionally without feeling like you're

You're allowing yourself to be vulnerable, not necessarily letting people see like everything, but should you let them just see everything? how does this work? Why not? I think we have to ask ourselves, why are we hindering or not wanting to release the truth? Yeah. What are we trying to protect ourselves from? Like, ultimately, we're trying to protect ourselves from something. Most likely, it's rejection.

because we think that if we share the truth, people are gonna be like, oh my gosh, her business sucks. who she is, like who she is is not really who she says she is. And she presents herself as this person and that's not, and who cares? At the end of the day, it's like, and I'm free and I get to go to sleep at night who I am fully. And people reject you anyways without knowing the truth, period. So give them an opportunity to know who you are. And I've learned

that whether it's working with myself, one, it was really about growing to accept who I was for myself, period, me first, and then being able to do that to others. But even with my clients, it's like, if you finally do the work, which the work is, just trying it out, trying it out to tell the truth. I'm not telling you to go out and plaster everything you want to share on Facebook, because I get annoyed by those. ⁓

If you feel comfortable, just an inkling of comfort, because we all have this instinct and this intuition in which we're around someone, we feel connected or we feel like a bond and we're like, this, this feels weird, but it feels good, right? Just open yourself up just a little bit, right? Just whether it's like telling a little bit more, a piece of your story that you may not necessarily share all the time. I do that now and I used to, I'm very,

I don't know if it's the Virgo in me or what, but I used to be very private. And as I've grown and, you know, even hosting the Real Connect podcast, it's like, I know that that's what's required to gain solid relationships. So you got to live what you preach, right? And every time I've done it, something miraculous has happened. Just saying. People are waiting on us to show up and be ourselves. Like, can do the same. So they can do the same.

It's so true. I know, you know, I, I've always tried to show up authentically online. ⁓ Sure, you know, there might be a little bit of a every now and then, know, and that's to be as understandable. There are people that are very close to me that, course, that I let in. And you're absolutely right. You know, when I, when I allow myself to really just let go and fully let someone in and be vulnerable.

First of all, one of the first things I usually say is thank you so much for trusting me with that. And that feels so good to know that you've just built this trust bond with them. But I think the more that we can show people behind the scenes, I've been trying myself, like said, to do it more and more. Not that I was ever hiding it, but just I wasn't necessarily showing it. There's a difference between the two, right? And I'm now showing some of the things of like, hey, look how I screwed up today because that is what's connecting with people.

I wanna be relatable, because I am. I'm a human being who screws up every day. Every day. That's all of us. I think we forget that we're all not perfect. I mean, we're all imperfectly perfect. And that is the key of fitting into the puzzle of life. ⁓ We're all just pieces of the puzzle and we just need to fit into the big puzzle. Exactly, exactly.

And the best way to do that is just to allow yourself your mistakes and yeah, share them, laugh at them, and embrace them as much as you can as well. So in terms of, there's obviously a lot of female entrepreneurs are listening to this podcast and they're probably listening to this, okay, this all sounds good. They've got the tip of, okay, I can send some DMs and Instagram or something, like, how are they ⁓ building these relationships?

as much as we don't want to be transactional, how does that translate into revenues and profits for them? Because I think most people are like, yeah, that sounds great in theory, but I have no time. And you want me to spend my time creating these brand new relationships and I don't know where they're gonna go. what's the approach they take for that? I mean, first of all, you gotta change your mindset. Your mindset, we have to understand that like the relationship is the fruit.

of it's like the seeds that are going to produce the results and outcomes that we want and that we desire. And I think if we all reflect whether, and for a long time I was like, I can do all this by myself. We cannot, no one can do any of this by themselves as an entrepreneur, as a human in society, really. So it's like, how do you put yourself, whether it's putting yourself in the right room and you have to make the time. I mean, listen,

Time is of the essence, I get it. But this is the way forward for you to become successful in whatever right you want to be in, right? So I would say, you don't need a whole bunch of time, but it's very likely that you're currently spending time on things that you should not be spending time on. But what is not giving you results that you're currently working on? Whether that's, I don't know, doing your laundry, whether that is,

posting a whole bunch on social media that's not resulting in anything, whether that's like doing tasks on chat GPT that's not like we can all get all engrossed in chat GPT sometimes. like focus on what is going to produce results. I would say that is relationships. And what does that mean? Sending out a direct email, sending a DM, connecting with someone on LinkedIn. Like sometimes people reach out to me for coffee chats, random people.

guess what, those are the exact people that either become guests on my podcast, those are the people that are my clients, those are the people that become my friends when I travel to another state, those are the people that I connect with, like those are the people that introduce me to new people. It's like, that is what you want and that's what you need. And you're not making the time to build it because you have this thought that it's not useful. No, it is.

That's so true. What opportunities are you missing out on by not taking advantage of this? I know one of the things that my coach often talks about is hire a chef. Hire someone to create prepared meals for you throughout the week. It's actually not as expensive as you think it's going to be. having those meals prepared, think of how much time you could save. And I get it. You love cooking and it's an outlet for you. Yada, yada,

Well then find something else. What else can you outsource? You don't want to keep your cooking. But to your point of like, do you really need to do your own laundry? Because I know people are probably listening, but I have to do laundry. Do you? Do you really have to do your laundry? Listen, do you really have to your own clothes? And imagine the time. And just the mental bandwidth to have to anticipate you have to fold your laundry and do your That alone is taken away from your creativity. So, so true. It's so true. I know.

And so I think this is the thing, though. I think we're clinging to a lot of things that we've just been led to believe, well, I just have to do these things. And the same thing, not just in personal tasks, but in entrepreneurship. Well, I just have to do this. And entrepreneurship's supposed to be hard. And I'm building my business. So I have to do these other things. Who said you have to do any of those things?

I think the main thing for me is working with a lot of entrepreneurs because I've been in the marketing world for several years too. So it's like the majority of businesses that are productive are because the CEOs are able to do the sale or be the face of the brand and they are the ones bringing the clients. So if you want more of anything, you have to alleviate the mundane tasks.

to be able to be more mission-driven or a visionary or to be able to sell or go do speaking engagements, podcast guesting, all of the things that are going to bring you fruitful leads and fruitful connections, you have to take yourself out of the mundane task and utilize. And listen, maybe you're the type of person that, you your zone of genius is those tasks, like the more, you know, technical things. That's fine.

but make sure you're alleviating or giving the other stuff that you don't want to do to the people that should be doing it. Yeah. Yeah. And I can remember when I was first building my first business, which was a home staging business, and I was still working part time as a bartender as well to pay the bills. And I remember in my mind, I had this block of like, people would say like, oh, when are you going to hire staff? And I was like, wow, I'm still working part time. I'm not going to hire staff until I can afford to not be working part time. And then all of sudden one day, I had this.

switch of like my mindset completely changed. Like, wait a minute, if I want to stop working part time, I need to hire someone to take some of this stuff off so I can bring in more money so that I can give up my part time job. So I went out and I hired my admin. She ended up being with me for nine years, which was fantastic. It was fantastic. But she immediately freed up so much of my time. I was no longer answering phones. I was no longer doing all the bookings that alone. And I didn't do any the invoicing.

It didn't sound like it doesn't sound like a ton of stuff. It was taking up a ridiculous amount of my time. Now, all of a sudden, I have more time to book one more consultation, book one more staging project so that the money was just there. And yes, I had to pay for her. But again, the money was there because I'm now free to do it. Yes, yes. And it's like the mindset shift. Like you said, it was like, ding, something happened where it was like, I'm not going to be able to no longer work part time if I don't hire someone.

Exactly. That is the key. The mind shift shift is key. And I think just understanding yourself and what you're good at is also key to like, love a good personality test. I do those things all the time just to like, it's so good for you to identify where you should spend the majority of the time your time or even just to set goals for yourself. Okay, ⁓ currently, I'm doing all of I'm the executor of all the tasks, but when can I not be doing

because that's actually not when I'm good or what I'm good at. And then that'll be your goal. And there'll be something for you to look forward to and work towards. So, tests are my favorite too. I love it. And I'm not unlike that, because not only for myself, but for my clients, for other people I love, I'm kind of figuring out where they fit on things and trying and ensuring that I'm adapting my connection with them in a way that's meaningful for them and kind of meets them where they're at as well.

⁓ I want to go back to some of the building relationships in the business. I love what you're saying about let's make some time for it because there's probably things that you're doing that you can give up. And I we went on a little bit of a tangent there, which was fantastic. I want to kind of bring it back, though, to you. You've had some pretty high level media stuff. Like you were on Oprah. How so how did your relationships bring you to Oprah by chance? Good question. ⁓ I think.

One is, I mean, for starters, that was several years ago, because can you believe Oprah has been off air for like 900 years? It feels like. I know. I remember when she was going off the air. And then I look, I think back to what I was doing at that time, like, oh, that was a lot of years ago, actually. That was a long time ago. So I think, you know, for me, the main thing is I think I was on the Oprah Winfrey show or got on the Oprah Winfrey show because I had.

a very significant connection to myself. And I think it was just me knowing myself and me being confident in who I was and delivering the message. And back then it was one of those things, which is actually quite interesting. It was basically a pitch that I did, which is similar to what you do all the time now, like I have to myself, right?

I was very authentic in the approach. And I think so often we want to say the right thing. We're trying to pitch ourselves with like the correct story or the correct angle or the correct headline. And that's great. Don't get me wrong. Like you have to be strategic, but also that wasn't what I was concerned about. And they reached out within seconds when I pitched. Really?

And I was on the show a couple of times and I would always get in the audience, always. ⁓ interesting. Yeah. So I think it was a lot. Me just, I shared my story and my story was me being able to connect with myself. But a lot of it was based off of relationships because my father passed away when I was really young. And that's when I started feeling like I was more connected to people and their pain and all of the things. And I wanted

My main thought was that I wanted to make sure that I would always share the good, bad, indifferent with anyone because you never know when something's gonna happen because he died unexpectedly. And I think, yeah, it was tough, but I think that that is something that more people can relate to and to imagine that that was the conversation that I was having with Oprah and I wrote about literally probably eighteen.

years ago, maybe 15 to 18 years ago. And that's exactly what I'm talking about now. It's so funny. That's amazing. mean, from my understanding as well, ⁓ you're no stranger to loss. And it continues to be a part of your conversations, a part of your life. I know you mentioned that ⁓ you experienced a bit of a personal crisis when your husband faced some health issues. ⁓ you mentioned some PTSD from that as well. And so.

you this isn't it's interesting how things kind of come full circle. It sounds like, those are probably what you went through with your dad and the way that you you dealt with it and embraced all of it into your identity probably helped you, I would imagine. Yeah, I think it did help me. And I also think I always tell people the universe test you and what you teach. So like, whatever it is,

teach about money, if you teach about real estate, like you're gonna have challenges in money, you're gonna have challenges in real estate. Like the universe will test you in what you teach. So it's like, in order for you to be a teacher of it, you have to experience it. You have to experience it. You have to understand all of the struggles and all of it to be more relatable in that space. And I think that there's, although it's tough and it's annoying, it is...

your testimony, is your story that connects to people and to get back to what we were talking about, about being authentic and just wanting, willing to be vulnerable is what has gotten me wherever I've, all of the opportunities I've gotten. And once again, I'm private and somehow when I'm like, I'm gonna not be private, all of the things come opening up for you. So I think it's just more of a call to action for

your listeners and just everyone that you, who you are, your unique story, your experiences are, is exactly what is going to carry people to you and will be how you like attract your target audience. But you have to put yourself out there. I could not have said it better myself. I could not agree more. It's so true.

One of the things I find, because I work with a lot of people who are starting their home staging businesses especially, and one of the things that they're often afraid of is there's a bit of that imposter syndrome going on. They're like, I don't want to tell everybody I'm becoming a stager because they know me from this previous life, this previous career, whatever. I'm like, well, how do you think you're going to get business if you don't tell anybody what you're doing? Right? mean, you kind of got to put it out there. And I can, I'm bringing up so many conversations in my head of where,

I've mentioned something to someone almost in passing for whatever reason, I decided to share something with them and they have a solution to a challenge that I'm facing. Yes. That is, oh my gosh, I love those. That's good life lesson. Right? It's so, it happens all the time though. So if there is one thing that I have learned, it is that the more you share, the more opportunities do open up for you. And again, not in a transactional way. I'm not sharing because I think

What can you do for me? But I mean, it even happened recently. So my dad passed away last year. I've shared it quite a bit on this show. And he was disabled. He had multiple sclerosis. So we had a hospital bed for him. Well, we hadn't paid for that bed. So we wanted to find someone to take the bed that was going to make good use of it. So through connections, I managed to find a family who had a 12-year-old girl who was going to make very good use out of it.

So then, of course, I'm speaking with a friend of mine who lost her husband just a couple of months before my dad passed. And she's in the process of selling a condo that he had owned. And she's like, you know, I've got most of the furniture kind of figured out, but I've got this bed and I don't know what to do with it. And I said, well, it's funny you say that because we just got rid of my dad's bed or we're in the process of getting rid of my dad's bed. And we need a bed to turn that room into a guest bedroom. Wow. You see, I just got chills. It just all comes full circle. And meanwhile, I had helped.

her with some of the aspects of selling the condo as a friend, not as a business owner, not as a former home stager. You know, just let me just share my expertise, help you out. You know, this is a friend helping another friend and with no expectation of compensation or anything like that in return. And here I end up with this bed. That was exactly what we needed. You know, so you just never know when you mention something. here she she just mentioned to me, I have this bed I need to get rid of. And all of sudden I'm like, I'll take it. ⁓

You just never know how it's going to turn out. I I went to buy a car for my mom last week and she was having some issues with her car. Spoke to a friend of mine who's a car guy, told him the situation. He mentions a few different types of cars that would be worthwhile. The one car company that he mentioned, I'm like, I happen to know a guy who sells those cars. I how ironic. Right? I reach out to that guy. The next day, a car matching our exact specs.

comes onto the lot. I'm not kidding. mean, it's like alignment. It's like listening to your instinct of just talking. it's, it's like just following suit. It's like just being free and flowing into the world. Absolutely. many things fall in your lap. I ⁓ love, I love what you said though about how, you know, you are a private person and yet

you understand the value of sharing. And again, you're not doing it to see what all is gonna come to, what you're gonna get return. But the more you're sharing, the more, like you're helping, if you could help one person by sharing your story, you know, look at what that does. And that's a big part of your brand is about building this network and these relationships. And what is the name of, you've got like a membership program that you're, you've got like this goal, and I apologize, I'm gonna screw up these details.

of your goal to, what is it? You, I don't know. You tell me, you had a goal of like million people or something like that. yeah. So we have the Real Connect podcast and that my goal is to connect 1 million people. that is my, that's my mission. So this is a podcast. I need to make the connection. I'm kidding. Yes. Ultimately, and this is the thing, the thing is, is that I don't need to be a part of the connection. The connection, I just want to be a,

the conduit, if you will, or just to have an understanding that more people are connected. But we also have the community, the Connect, which is a membership community in which you can connect with like-minded individuals and people that are not. And it's all over the globe. And we have different monthly meetings. We connect with different experts. We have all types of different conversations that are real vulnerable. And it doesn't feel like pressure. It just is enjoyment.

And what I found is almost like pen pals. I remember back in the day when I was younger, I don't know if anyone else used to have a pen pal. I did. OK, good. Thank you. I'm like, hopefully someone knows what that is. Oh, yeah. They lived in Europe. It was fantastic. Yes. So we have virtual pen pals that we connect other people to, which is really cool. And it's like you have the opportunity to connect with people that are not like you in a different place. And it opens your whole mind up, which we need more of.

Yeah, that's kind of actually what I like about it. You see all these different networking and it's all, how can you connect with these people to get something out of it? And then we're just, we're talking about building these real connections. And this sounds like a great opportunity to build a real connection. And you've actually got an offer for our listeners. Yes, 90 % off the first month. I mean, it's like a no brainer and obviously it's neat. You can like disconnect if you don't like it after a month, but no one disconnects.

That's all I'm saying. Yeah, that's a great way to try it out. Absolutely. Yeah. So we'll make sure we have a link in the show notes, but you'll get 90 % off of the first month using the code real women. So we'll make sure that there's a link to that in the show notes as well. I could probably talk to you for days. I mean, we were actually even late starting this interview because our pre-conversation just went off on so many tangents. having a fantastic conversation. so based on everything we talked about today,

If you could leave our listeners with one action step, one tip or one takeaway, what would that be? I would say, shoot your shot to whomever you want to. Let's do it. Today, let's connect with somebody. Because we all have this one person that we're like, dang, if I could only talk to this person, if I could only connect with this person, I really like this person, shoot your shot. Send them a DM.

Send them a LinkedIn message, send them an Instagram message, do a friend in my head video, do whatever you got to do because it's likely that they will connect with you. Yeah. And if they don't, shoot your shot to someone else. Exactly. Yes. Keep it going. Keep it It's so true though. think you never know, you you get it all in your head about, they're going to say no or whatever.

And so what if you don't hear back from them? Like you said, shoot your shot to somebody else, but you won't know unless you try. For sure. For sure. That's my challenge. I challenge everyone to do that. And they're like, I did it. And then it's also, it's not even about getting something. Once you do it, you're like, oh my gosh, I did it. And I feel OK. Like I don't want to run away from myself. Like I actually did it, and I'm OK. Everything's fine. And then they may respond, they may not. But now you have the confidence because you

confidence builds courage. Like you actually have to do it and be more courageous to get more courageous. So just do it and you'll feel more comfortable doing it again and again and again and it'll be like normal. It does get so much easier every single time. It's like think about door knocking or cold callers. Like literally the numbers are stacked against them. So and I actually did a podcast episode about this recently about our fear of hearing no is keeping us from the yeses that we can be getting.

And so if you theoretically need to like, let's say you need to put a hundred calls out there in order to get 10 yeses, then every no is bringing you one step closer to your yes. Right. So you've got to you got to keep putting it out there and be OK with it. Sometimes you're not going to hear back from someone. Sometimes it's not going to turn into what you want it to be. But that'll just leave space for the ones that are meant to be. Correct. Yeah. I love it. my gosh, Tamika, I could seriously talk to you for days. Thank you so much for coming and joining me. This has been so lovely.

Thank you. was pleasure, Shannanlin. Thank you so much. This has been wonderful. So listen, all the resources that we mentioned on today's show, of course, will be in the show notes for you. And if what we're saying today is resonated with you, please don't forget to subscribe to us on your favorite podcast platform. Leave us a review. And as always, the best way and this is perfect for this episode, but the best way to support your fellow female entrepreneurs is to share this episode with someone who you know can really benefit from it today. Make that connection. Maybe it's someone you've never even spoken to before.

send them a copy of this episode and say, here, this is for you. I thought of you when I listened to this. That is the best way to show our support. And until next time, everyone, keep thriving.